(Editor’s Note: The following article was submitted by Central Minnesota Council on Aging.)

Mel feels love, obligation, and guilt as she cares for her 85-year-old mother, Lucille, who raised her to be the woman she is proud to be. Mel never thought that her retirement would be like this, she had plans to explore the world, and instead she is taking care of her mother full-time and wouldn’t trade her situation for anything.

Joe has mixed emotions about caring for his spouse who has early onset dementia. He juggles work, home, supporting his kids in college, and caring for his partner. He talks of good days and trying days. Joe misses the life they once had, but relishes the joys they find in quieter ways. He knows things will get harder and he will have to make tough decisions as the disease progresses.

Each caregiver has their own story to tell. Caregivers can be family, neighbors, or friends. Caregiving can be challenging as around-the-clock care and attention may be required. The need for caring for each other is exploding. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) and the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) there are over 53 million caregivers in the United States as of the 2020 census; a rise of 9.5 million from 2015.

The role of a caregiver may go unrecognized or be kept hidden from family and friends. A caregiver may not realize their own role until they are deep into it. November is National Family Caregivers Month, a time to raise awareness of caregivers, learn about their challenges, and increase support for them.

Those who are are caregivers have probably heard how important it is to take care of oneself, but it isn’t easy to find the time. Here are some tips for caregivers:

• Plan ahead, take one day at a time, and have contingency plans;

• Learn about available resources – a good place to start is by calling the Senior LinkAge Line®;

• Find out about palliative care in the area. Palliative care is specialized medical care for people living with an illness, providing care for symptoms or treatment for cure;

• Create connections. Caregivers don’t have to be alone and staying connected to family and friends is a vital key to reducing stress;

• Accept help. Sometimes family and friends don’t know what would be helpful. Offer suggestions;

• Attend a support group or a class such as Powerful Tools for Caregivers;

• Contact Senior LinkAge Line or go online to MinnesotaHelp.info® to find out about having a caregiver consultation. Caregiver Consultants can help identify strengths and needs in order to make a plan and set goals;

• Do something relaxing or fun like going for a walk or reading a magazine;

• Keep up on one’s own health care;

• Be kind to oneself. Know that all emotions are okay;

• Forgive oneself. Mistakes will be made. Learn from them and move on;

• Each day seek to find a moment of joy or humor;

Ways to Support a Caregiver:

• Call the caregiver on a regular basis and ask them how they are doing;

• Listen with an open heart and mind; no judgements;

• Offer to stay with the care receiver to give the caregiver time away;

• Run some of their errands;

• Bring over a meal, shovel the walk, or do a grocery run;

• Encourage the caregiver to continue to do the things that make them happy or relaxed, like a hobby or an outing with friends;

• Help find supportive services for caregivers;

• Be present, share a hug, or a smile.

Resources:

Senior LinkAge Line helps older Minnesotans and caregivers find answers and connect to the services and support they need including:

• Caregiver consultants. Trained professionals who help caregivers on an individual basis with problem-solving, information, skills, and emotional support;

• Caregiver education. Powerful Tools for Caregivers and help for caregivers to take better care of themselves while caring for others;

• Program to Encourage Active Rewarding Lives – PEARLS, providing skills for seniors with depression and improve quality of life among older adults;

• Enhancing Alzheimer’s Caregiver Health – REACH, a dementia caregiving program that empowers caregivers to problem-solve challenges that arise from caregiving;

• Home services;

• Housing;

• Health insurance;

• Financial and legal assistance;

• MinnesotaHelp.info® – www.MinnesotaHelp.info: online directory to help Minnesotans find the services that are available in their local community;

• TRUALTA - An online training platform designed for caregivers to help families, friends, and neighbors who are caregiving by supporting them in their caregiver roles, reduce stress, and prevent burnout: www.trualta.com;

• Contact the Senior LinkAge Line at 800.333.2433 or visit https://mn.gov/senior-linkage-line/ AARP: Prepare to Care Guide – An all-in-one planning kit, www.aarp.org/caregiving/prepare-to-care-planning-guide;

• Caregiver Action Network - Check out the Family Caregiver Toolbox and other tips, www.CaregiverAction.org.