Dawn Moyer, retired Elk River school teacher and administrator of 38 years, told the assembly of 220 it was a calling she and fellow professionals from Elk River needed to address.

 

They recognized domestic abuse as having serious negative effects on their school children.

 

Moreover, that abuse often originated in their homes, where it had become a way of life for some children.

 

And, learned behavior becomes manifested in their adult lives, where the abuse goes on.

 

Dawn, just having celebrated her 90th birthday, helped form ROH in 1989, just after having concluded her school service.

 

She teamed up with retired Elk River teachers, a police officer and other professionals to “light the candle.”

 

Among them, Gail Weber, Julie LeVos, Rita Johnson, Carol Erickson, retired teachers and professionals, and Kim Peterson, retired Elk River police officer.

 

It wasn’t an easy task for them to give birth to an abuse organization when much of society looked “the other way,” she said.

 

But they persevered, having no office, but making do with meetings in the back of businesses, the police station and homes.

 

The likened the era as to the beginning of the womens movement. And lights were shined into dark closets - so the stories could be told.

 

Their story went to businesses and organizations, to the Sherburne County Board, and helping them along, she noted, was the former director of social services for Sherburne County, Donald Strei.

 

Their story grew - the organization grew.

 

And now, having celebrated its 30th year, ROH handles calls from an estimated 1,300 abuse victims - or persons just needing a question answered - each year.

 

Their outreach in recent years has been into 30 junior and senior high schools in Sherburne and Wright counties, where an office is provided, an advocate sits in, and answers questions of students walking in.

 

Youth abuse advocacy has been a big thrust of the organization in recent years. ROH continues to counsel adults in family abuse situations, providing them protection and legal assistance to escape to a more sane life.

 

Their phones are answered 24-7 by staff and volunteers. Phone number for ROH is 1-763-295-3433. Their office is in the commercial mall next to the drycleaners, just off Hwy. 25, in downtown Monticello.

 

 

The tall, attractive lady gathered her papers and began to address the gala.

 

Following is a portion of her address, detailing emotional and physical abuse she experienced at the hands of her husband over more than 10 years of marriage. Initially he was charming, well-liked by everyone he met and had many friends.

 

“Looking back now there were plenty of warnings signs of abuse, mostly happening when he was drinking and I could chalk it up to just that, it was ok because he was drinking.             

 

These events took place throughout the early years of the relationship, and I always had some justification to make his actions ok because he was sorry, and he stated how much he really loved me and he would make promises it would never happen again. It was text book definition of the domestic violence cycle of abuse. 

 

Even being a professional, who learns about domestic violence in on the job training, I couldn’t see through it, because when the times were good, they were good.” Over the years the couple had children together and the abuse became increasingly worse.  

 

“Along with the outbursts, the manipulation and controlling behaviors increased. I started to isolate myself from friends and family. I was told constantly things such as, I was a bad mother, I never made enough money, I am horrible wife, nobody likes me and everyone thinks I am a spoiled and how he just spoils me and how lucky I was to be with him. 

 

The mental abuse was getting almost as bad and the physical outrages, these started to be happening almost daily the hitting, slapping, choking, and shaking me, sometimes he would grab me so hard when he was shaking me that he would leave bruises of handprints on my arms.” 

 

When he threatened to kill himself, she knew that for the safety of her kids she needed to leave what had been become an incredibly dangerous situation. 

 

“After long talks and planning with ROH, counselors, my work, and a few close family members and friends. I had a plan. I filed an Order for Protection and it was granted”.

 

“Two years later, life is getting stable. It was, and still is a long tough road, but it gets easier and easier every day. I am still battling with anxiety, panic and post-traumatic stress disorder from the situation I came from. But It can get better, and it will, it takes a lot of strength, courage, and most of all support. 

 

And I am so very thankful for the big support team I have of family and friends and I am healing and proud to say I am no longer a victim of domestic abuse, I am a survivor”.