Do you know who I am? I sneak up and take away what you know. I rob you in the broad daylight and when it’s dark.  I take away what is familiar, so you don’t know what is going on. I get you confused to know who you are or what you loved. I mess with time, so you don’t know whether to get up or go to bed. I’m usually quiet but I can cause you to roar out of frustration and strip your dignity. Most of all, I steal memories, never to return. Who am I? I’m Alzheimer’s, the silent thief.

I’ve learned there is a difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia. According to alz.com, “Dementia is a decline in mental ability, severe enough to interfere with daily life. It affects memory, thinking, language, judgement and behavior.

 “Alzheimer’s is a degenerative brain disease, which leads to dementia symptoms that gradually worsen over time.”  

There is no cure. 

My maternal grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I remember grandma coming to live with us for a while. She wasn’t how I remembered her being. She was soft spoken, lady like, polite and laughed easily. She came to us confused, agitated and sometimes, rude. Her behavior and mannerisms did not reflect who she once was.  

She would forget five minutes after eating a meal that she ate. She ended up forgetting who mom was. When asked, she would say, “You’re the nice lady that looks after me.” Every once in a while, she would have lucid moments. She would look at mom and share a memory. She became aware for a brief moment on her condition and would say, “Why can’t I remember?” 

And then, she went back to a lost world. It was heartbreaking. 

Dad. The most kind-hearted, gentle, loving and funny guy you would ever meet. He was the rock of our family. 

It was in his late 70’s that dad started showing signs of dementia. 

He was working, driving a bus. He enjoyed it, but he started forgetting things. He would forget to pick someone up or drop someone off. Things he had never done. He had to retire. There were other signs. He was getting easily frustrated and confused about time. 

He displayed symptoms of Sundowners Syndrome. Eventually, dad went into a memory care home. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia, brought on by mini strokes.  He had difficulty performing normal tasks and appeared disorientated at times.

Like grandma, dad had lucid moments. We had a conversation and he shared his thoughts about me. I cannot talk about it without tears. It is etched in my heart and mind. This was the summer before goodbye.

Normally, cases are rare when a person is younger in developing Alzheimer’s. I did have the opportunity to meet with, Micki. She was a grade ahead of me in school.  She was smart, a cheerleader and well-liked. She married her high school sweetheart Bill.  

She started having some performance issues at work, which was not like her.  Bill sensed something was wrong and took her to the Noran Clinic in 2015, where she received the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. It took months to get the PET scheduled, as insurance did not approve the diagnosis – too young. Mayo confirmed in 2016. Micki is on medication to slow down the progression. 

Bill and Micki have their routines, which helps to keep the anxiety down.  They go out for a drive every day and enjoy social interaction. This is important for her well-being. They also participate in the Mayo’s Alzheimer’s Research program to help others. Micki likes to color, she told me, “It’s my thing.” 

Most recently, we learned of a friend who passed away from Alzheimer’s. Bob was a friendly, happy-go-lucky, nice guy. He enjoyed life, cars, his family and the outdoors. He was aware of the disease he had but it didn’t stop him from wanting to live a life that he once knew. 

I wanted to bring light to the unseen heroes – the caregivers. I applaud those that work in memory care facilities, who take care of these lost souls day in and day out with a smile. There is a special place in heaven for you. To the family members and spouses, your endless commitment and love is unsurpassed. Your tireless efforts are known by God.  

November is Alzheimer’s Awareness month. Please join me in showing support for the disease known as, “The long goodbye.”