As we near the end of 2019, it’s not hard for me to look back on the year and see many, many delights — but unfortunately it was wrought with death and sadness too.

Thanksgiving this year includes thanking the Lord for all His wonderful blessings, but wishing (selfishly) those lost this year could be here with us.

In June, I lost my brother Chris to liver disease. It devastated my family as we dealt with death of a young man (59) who touched many, many lives.

Two weekends ago I thought that maybe the rapture was happening as four people connected to me or my friends passed on from this world unexpectedly. On top of all that, we had to put down two precious pets that weekend due to age, illness and disease. My heart ached for days as I mourned for those who left this world, my life, my heart and my mind.

But this is the season of being thankful, joyous and enriched.

I am thankful for my wife Terri. I watched her delicately tend to our two cats — Abby and Baxter — as the nurses prepped them for euthanasia. I was stand-off-ish as I struggled with whether I wanted to be there for their last dying moments or to leave the room. 

I know Terri’s heart twisted and grieved for her lap mates, and I know she didn’t want to have to watch them die, but I commend her for staying strong and composed (for the most part) as she spoke loving words into Abby and Baxter’s ears while stroking their fur as they breathed their last.

Me, I was a mess inside and could hardly fathom seeing these treasured pets die right in front of my eyes. I entered and exited the death room as my emotions got the best of me. I even wondered throughout the night if I had made the right decision while questioning if I even had the right to make this life-or-death decision for them.

The doctors assured us later that both cats were definitely in their end days, but it still was one of the hardest things I could ever experience. I miss those dear animals even today.

Thankfully we are not “empty-nesters” as we still have two felines at home to love and care for. Thankfully they are young enough that we (hopefully) won’t be going through that experience of death with them any time soon.

Thankfully.

How interesting that word can be used surrounding death. But despite these end-of-life scenarios, I am thankful for being richly blessed by the lives of those who have passed, both human and animal. 

I hold out hope that heaven is also home to our dear pets as well as family and friends.

To Abby, Baxter, Kelly, Carolyn, friend Julie’s best friend, my niece’s father, my brother Chris — well done.

“Waiting my whole life for that day, until then I’ll live to hear You say;

Well done, well done my good and faithful one;

Welcome to the place where you belong;

Well done, well done my beloved child; You have run the race and now you’re home.

Welcome to the place where you belong;

Well done.” (The Afters)