I’ve always been a person who thought I could do it all, and when I was younger, for the most part, I was able to. 

I’m not so sure anymore.

Although my mind doesn’t seem to be quite as sharp as it used to be, the biggest part of the problem is my body. The warranty on it ran out a few years ago and since then it’s been falling apart rather quickly. 

I can’t say I didn’t know it was coming. There have been warning signs along the way and I’ve  no one to blame but myself. You can only not take care of your health for so long before your body starts protesting, often loudly.

I’ve never been a stranger to a healthy lifestyle, I just never let it stay familiar, and the last few years I’ve had a lot going on. As a result, I’ve let my health fall by the wayside. 

I’ve used the fact that I’ve got too much going on to justify putting off all the health-related appointments everyone needs to take care of, like annual checkups, bloodwork, getting immunizations updated. When I finally get in to see a doctor it’s going to be a long visit; I’ve got quite a list of things that need to be discussed.

Along with that, I sit behind a computer screen most days and I don’t get nearly enough of the sleep my body needs. Although exhausted, I just keep pushing forward. I can do it all, right?

I’m tired of cooking. I used to enjoy it; nearly every day for thirty years I’d plan and make homemade meals for my family to sit down to every night. Today I’d never make another meal if I didn’t feel guilty that I still have one child at home to feed. But I don’t plan meals out anymore, and as a consequence they’re often quick and not as healthy as they should be.

Not all of my health problems are my own fault. Many of them are genetic. But I’ve even been putting off dealing with them.

For example, one of the medications I took for years for a chronic illness eventually ended up causing osteonecrosis (bone death) in my jaw, and as a result I lost my back four molars. I didn’t like the partial I was given so I didn’t wear it.

Last week it felt like I was starting to get a toothache. Investigating, I discovered one of the lower teeth I still had left was loose.

Remember how exciting it was to find a loose tooth when you were a kid? It’s not so exciting to find a loose tooth when you’re an adult. Turns out, not wearing the partial put extra stress on my remaining teeth and caused additional bone loss. It also turns out that not wearing it left my remaining teeth with no support. One plus one equals another tooth removed. 

If I don’t want to become a toothless middle-aged woman, I guess I’d better wear the new partial when I get it. 

My blood pressure, which has always been low, has been steadily rising. My numerous aches and pains are also steadily rising. My body no longer appears to in full working order.

 All the years of not taking care of myself properly is catching up with me, and my body is telling me enough is enough. It’s time to admit that I’m not as young as I used to be, and improper and inadequate use has resulted in serious bodily defects. I need to turn things around.

I guess I’m going to have to do the grownup thing and start taking better care of myself today, not tomorrow. No one is invincible, and no one can do it all.

On the bright side, at least I don’t have the coronavirus.