It’s almost that one day of the year, the one no one looks forward to. Yes, it’s nearly the day tax returns are due. If you’re a procrastinator, this year you’re in luck. Traditionally April 15, this year’s tax deadline is April 17. Two whole extra days to keep your money!
I guess I really shouldn’t complain, as after my husband and I bought a house and had kids we’ve gotten money back every year instead of having to pay in like we used to. However, with our mortgage recently paid off and our kids moving out one by one, those days are quickly coming to an end.
To pay our taxes in the future we may have to start buying lottery tickets and selling our belongings on eBay.
I used to do our taxes myself, but as our lives became more complicated so did our tax returns. I hate math and the resulting stress wasn’t worth it, so I started handing the taxing job over to the people who actually know what they’re doing over at Clearwater Tax and Accounting.
This year my tax appointment was set for the end of January, and not surprisingly I didn’t have everything I needed yet, so I was sent home with a list of documents to bring back. I put the list on my table, thinking I would take care of it the next week. Who was I trying to kid?
Just last week I remembered it still hadn’t been taken care of and time was rapidly running out. At least by this point I actually had everything I needed.
As always, I waited with baited breath and crossed fingers to discover the outcome. To pay or not to pay? That was the question.
With my deductions dwindling every year, I started brainstorming things I should be allowed to deduct to help make up for them. Not wanting to appear greedy, I whittled it down to my top five.
1. Vacations. They’re necessary for a person’s mental health, so shouldn’t they be included under health and medical expenses? Every dollar I spend on a vacation should be deducted from my income. They’re especially needed after a person does something taxing like filing their return.
2. Pets. We have a lot of pets in my household, and a lot of pets equals a lot of expenses. Cat litter, dog toys and lizard tanks aren’t cheap. If I add them all together they should equal at least one dependent.
3. Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Unfortunately, I have a lot of doctor appointments, and my time is just as valuable as theirs. I should be able to deduct any and all of my time that has been wasted by anyone other than myself.
4. Emotional angst. For both your teenagers and yourself for having to deal with them. Or if you no longer have teenagers, you can deduct it for your parents.
5. Candy. A person needs to find joy wherever they can, and the cost of chocolate has really gone up. Although if I could actually deduct the money I spend on it I would probably need to buy new clothes every year. Maybe I could deduct the cost of those, too?
Unless things really change in our government I doubt I’ll have much luck persuading the IRS to consider my new deduction proposals, but hey, a person can dream.
Because I’m not a fan of jail time our income taxes will continue to be filed, and each year I will continue to hold my breath and cross my fingers until I discover my fate.
When it comes to taxes, it’s been to receive than give.
