Alyssa, age 34, stepped to the podium and told her story.
“I am a domestic abuse survivor,” she said. “It took me a long time to be able to state that out loud. And without Rivers of Hope, I would not be standing here today.”
Alyssa reported first incidents of abuse from her husband in 2015. They ended Oct. 7, 2015.
She had contacted the two-county family abuse protection agency during the interim.
“The first time she contacted us, she was scared,” says Jody Mowry of the Rivers of Hope staff. But she gathered the courage to say “enough” to the relationship with her husband and move on with her life.
A trigger point in the deterioration of Alyssa’s relationship with her husband was when he suffered a traumatic brain injury in June, 2014, causing cognitive damage. He became abusive physically, mentally and emotionally to her and their three children.
She stayed in the relationship for about 18 months, marked by multiple trips to the hospital, for a broken finger he slammed a dog on, her being bashed in the head by a portable safe and finally a choking incident that nearly claimed her life.
“I remember thinking that if I can just get to the other side of the bed, then when my son walks in the room, I will not be the first thing that he would see.
“I did not want my son to see his dead mother.”
Her husband had guns in the home and Alyssa’s intent on removing them caused the last near-fatal reaction.
He let her go for medical treatment, her third trip to the hospital for such care, and that led to her call to Rivers of Hope.
Charges of battering were filed and after months of waiting, a plea agreement was reached. He received three years probation with random testing. He needs to continue counseling and attend anger management classes, remain alcohol and drug-free and have no access to fire arms.
She has since gained a job, begun new schooling and lived with friends for six months.
Her husband did not stay away, however. He, despite multiple reports to the police, violated restraining orders and once was under the influence.
But she is undeterred.
“I am not a victim,” she told the Rivers of Hope assembly Saturday. “I am a survivor. I have managed to get my family safe in a home with everything we need and secure transportation . . . I have moved on with life and am a stronger, more confident woman.”
Rivers of Hope, based in Monticello, attended to about 950 calls for assistance from Sherburne and Wright county residents in 2015.
Some calls are for information. Some lead to heavier stuff, such as what Alyssa was experiencing.
Rivers of Hope is a non-profit community-based agency offering advocacy, support, education and referral services for victims of family violence. In 2015, they established their own safe house for victims.
Rivers of Hope, working in partnerships with schools, law enforcement, social service agencies and the court system, has been serving Sherburne and Wright counties since 1989.
Among their duties, escorting victims through the court program, securing discounted legal services and helping secure orders for protection. Phone number at Rivers of Hope is 763-295-3433; email address is info@riversofhope.org.
