My husband, Blayne, and I celebrated our 30-year wedding anniversary this week, which absolutely blows my mind. As cliché as it sounds, time really does fly when you’re having fun, and even when you aren’t.

 

A wedding anniversary is not only a celebration of love, but also one of trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. Staying married is hard work.

 

My husband and I don’t have a perfect marriage, far from it in fact. Actually, I don’t believe a perfect marriage is possible, and if someone tells you they have one they’re either lying or delusional.

 

Marriage can be one of life’s greatest blessings, but like everything else worthwhile there are ups and downs, and you need to be willing to work at it.

 

I asked my husband why he thought we’d made it this long. His reply was compromise, stubbornness and that the two of us look at marriage as a lifetime commitment rather than something to leave as soon as the going gets tough. And believe me, the going has gotten tough in our marriage more times than I care to remember. 

 

Divorce is much easier than marriage.

 

So, what does it take to make a marriage last? I have no idea. Often, I feel like we’ve just gotten lucky. There are, however, endless articles on what makes a good marriage, which usually mention things such as communication, commitment, kindness, acceptance and love.

 

While I agree with all of those, marriage advice tends to be serious, and while building a life with someone should be taken seriously, there should also be a humorous side to it. Try to find humor during the good days and the bad. Find humor in commitment.

 

No one who lives in reality expects married life to be overflowing with wedding bliss. So occasionally we need something to keep us laughing during the rough spots. After the bloom wears off, you realize your spouse is human and there are a lot of things that bother you about him or her. Get over it. Learn to accept each other for who you are.

 

I’ll admit, my husband is a saint for putting up with me. I know I’m not an easy person to live with. On the other hand, I’m also a saint for putting up with him. He’s not an easy person to live with either. But we make it work.

 

Some days I’m mad at him more often than I’m not. Some days I don’t want to even look at or talk to him. However, even when I’m at my angriest, I’ve honestly never once seriously considered divorce. It’s easy to find grounds for it. The trick is to find grounds for marriage.

 

Now that we’re getting closer to an empty nest, my husband and I have starting to spend more time together just the two of us rather than as a family unit. We’re relearning things about each other, remembering many of the reasons we said “I do” thirty years ago.

 

How have we stayed married for so many years? I believe the following quote sums it up best. “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.”