I try not to stay up too late at night. And by late I mean 1 a.m.

 

Midnight is usually about my cutoff time.

 

But Tuesday night I was already sitting in front of the TV after watching the Baseball All-Star  game, so I started flipping channels with the remote, looking for something worthwhile.

 

I find it’s easier to sleep after watching a movie or interesting reality show. Otherwise, I would have been tossing and turning in bed, playing the baseball game over in my head and getting annoyed at the National League for losing again. 

 

The first program I found was Expedition Unknown, a semi-reality series about an explorer who travels the world seeking to solve a mystery, find some historical artifact, hidden treasure or confirm the existence of a mythological figure.

 

The show was already in its final 15 minutes, so I watched it until the end.

 

I still wasn’t tired enough to sleep, and visions of National League batters striking out with runners in scoring position made me continue my search for something that could help put me in a different mood.

 

I found a movie that was just starting - The Lincoln Lawyer, starring Matthew McConaughey. I’d seen it before, but not for a few years. But I remember it being a pretty good film with some suspense.

 

I got a bottle of spring water from the refrigerator and made myself comfortable on the sofa. I figured it wouldn’t be long before the baseball game would fade from my memory and I’d be able to sleep.

 

After a while, maybe a half hour or so, I started getting into the story. I got so interested that I didn’t want to go to bed until it was over.

Instead of trying to get in the mood to sleep, I used the commercial breaks to get a snack or take a bathroom break.

 

But as the movie continued, I started getting annoyed again by the length of the commercial breaks. It wasn’t just a commercial here and there. They were long sequences of ads that interrupted the film every 8-10 minutes.

 

I realize networks make their money by selling ad time to advertizers. And I don’t have a problem with a few commercials. But I was so irritated at the length of the breaks that I got a paper and pen and started writing down each commercial to see if my anger was justified.

It was.

 

At the next commercial break, about halfway through the film, my list began. First was a preview of a show about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Next was an ad for Jimmy Dean Sausages, followed by Dove Men Sportcare, Diet Dr. Pepper, Juul, Coors, Vitafusion Gummy Vitamins, Olive Garden, Olia Hair Color, Home Depot, Dairy Queen Blizzard, Kellogg’s Rice Krispies, Hershey’s, Cover Girl mascara, Land O’Frost cold cuts, Listerine, Twisted Tea, Ballpark Franks, State Farm Insurance and Ram Commercial trucks.

 

That was just one break - 20 commercials! 

 

At first I thought maybe I just happened upon the “big” commercial break, and that the other breaks would be shorter.

 

Nope.

 

The next break was 17 commercials, followed by another 20. I wrote down every one of them.

 

I don’t know what some of those advertizers are thinking, but it was already past midnight, and there was little chance of me or anyone else getting up, going out and buying any of that stuff on the commercials. By morning, anything they’d advertised would be wiped from memory.

I put down the pen and paper and started watching the film again. There was about a half hour left.

 

There was another commercial break less than 10 minutes later, but since I had already proved my point, I just laid back and didn’t take notice of what they were advertising.

 

The next thing I remember, it was after 2 a.m. and the film was long over. I never even saw the ending. I turned off the TV and went to bed.

So, I guess those commercials had a purpose after all - to put me to sleep.