An old, dear friend of mine had contacted me several months ago with the hope of re-connecting and salavging a damaged friendship we developed thanks to scoial media.

He (let’s call him Hank) and I had had some heated exchanges both in person and on digital devices based on where we stood in politics, religion and people we associate with. We both were hard-headed in our stances and were willing to throw away  our camaraderie on things that — in reality — don’t really matter in the long run.

Hank and I first got to know each other back in the early 80s as we traversed the uncertain future of higher education. We were both artists, into dating pretty girls and big fans of Minnesota sports teams so we had a lot in common. As we aged we stayed in touch and even played parts in each other’s weddings when we started settling down.

Hank was always an opinionated man and very bright, but soon through emails, texts and postings on social media, we began to have disagreements and arguments centered around political candidates, social causes and even what musical or celebrity heroes we aligned with. It got pretty ugly at times and throught the last 10 years or so, we barely talked and rarely ever got together like we did in the old days.

What changed? Did our opinios about things change over the years? They may have, but I really think we stayed pretty much the same. So what changed? 

The social media outlets and their stranglehold are what changed. 

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, email, texting, blogs, etc.) has put a wedge in what used to be healthy realtionships and friends. I’ve sometimes had to block or unfriend even relatives from social media because of the backlash it results in. It either causes ulcers, depression, anxiety or esteem hangups or it fractures families and friends — over insignificant things.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve begun to recognize the harmful effects of too much social media. Rarely had I considered picking up my cell phone and actually DIALED a number to talk to someone. It’s typically a text. Nobody is interested in the voice conversation of phone calls anymore. It’s sad but its true.

Now don’t get me wrong, technology has made communication easier despite physical distance, time, and geographical barriers. While this has made it easier for us to build and maintain bonds, it has taken away the warmth and comfort of face-to-face interactions.

I am grateful that dear old friend of mine contacted me a while ago (actual phone conversation) and that we both agreed we needed some mending of our friendships and behaviors. Now we stay in touch regularly just like the old days — before technology clutched the world.

My advice...Use the phone for what it is and forget that it’s a tiny computer in your pocket with all the gadgets and apps. Use it to call and speak to family and friends like the old days. Better yet, call them then set up a time to meet face-to-face. Let’s stop hiding behind our iPhones and Samsungs. Let’s bring the culture of human interaction back to our lives.

Thanks Hank for taking the first step.