My mother was the type of woman who raised my siblings and me to reach for the stars even if an airplane hits us on the way there. This taught us perseverance; we set goals and tried our best to achieve them despite what obstacles slowed us down or defeated us. I wasn’t scared to be turned down by an Ivy league school or be passed over at a job interview. 

 

As an adult, however, I’m learning that it’s not just the fear of failure which can stop you from making a dream a reality.

 

There are many types of fears which permeate our everyday lives and hold us back without us even noticing, which is why I aim to be fearless, because the fearless person leads a happier life.

 

The other night I told my son I wouldn’t lay down with him at bedtime because he wanted his night light turned off and the door shut. Any other parent might be excited that their child is embracing the dark, rather than fearing what may be lurking in the closet and under the bed, but I was scared. I wondered if the ghosts he talks about are real, or if I might trip over the toys scattered all over his floor.

 

I still sleep with lamps and the television on in my own room and wasn’t ready to be in the dark, but my son was and I would be holding him back if I didn’t support him. This realization quickly made me feel shame, so I brought my phone to use as a light if need be, and allowed my son to sleep completely in the dark. As parents, we raise our children by example, and I didn’t want to make my son think that it’s okay to hold onto our fears as tightly as I was holding onto mine.

 

The big thing with the dark is that I don’t know what’s there. It’s fear of the unknown which really frightens me, and how many times do people pass up great opportunities just because they don’t know what will happen if they take a chance? I’m also scared of rollercoasters, heights, bugs, rejection, being alone, embarrassment, losing a family member, trying new foods, getting a fatal illness or condition, being robbed, etc.

 

Some of these fears I’ve tried to face head on, but others I have allowed to take control of the decisions I make—avoiding theme parks, running at night, and feverishly locking every door in my home when I’m alone, for example.

 

I don’t fear failure because it’s been ingrained in me to always try again, but I fear other things, and I am tired of the hold they have on me.

 

Fearless people don’t care about what others think. Fearless people talk to strangers and open themselves up emotionally. They don’t think twice when someone doesn’t answer their call or text. They don’t base their self-worth on others’ opinions of them. 

 

Fearless people live a fuller life because they are open to trying new things, and don’t permit rejections or bad experiences to shape their lives. They have access to a host of freedoms which my fears close me off to.

 

Fearless people are comfortable making mistakes and learning from them. They understand that bad days are okay. Fearless people are happier because they have fewer restrictions on their choices and more willingness to take the risks which could change their lives forever in a positive way. 

 

I want to be like that. I want to smile more this year and stop thinking I’m not good enough for something or someone. I don’t want doubts to create limiting paths for me or my children, and I intend to make my actions match this desire, because my boys deserve a mother who explores the world with them and shows them that there really is never anything to fear when you have God by your side. 

 

I’m no longer afraid of the dark, because my son made me sleep in pitch black with him, so maybe now I can turn off the metaphorical night light of my life which makes me overly cautious and begin to jump into the unknown with more enthusiasm.