A few months ago, our youngest daughter moved out of the house, and we officially became empty nesters. Has it bothered me? Actually, no.

I always thought it was going to be a hard transition for me once all my kids were gone. We spent a lot of time together, and I enjoyed spending that time with them. I couldn’t imagine a house without chaos, with just my husband and me alone. It had been a long time since that was the case. What would we do without kids to take care of and to keep us busy? What would we talk about?

Who was I if I didn’t have to be mom 24/7 anymore? What can I do that I couldn’t do before? How do I structure and define my life?

Luckily for me, my kids eased me into an empty nest slowly. The three of them of are spaced apart, with three years between the oldest and middle child, and five years between the middle child and the youngest. Our oldest didn’t move out until she graduated college. Our middle daughter moved out when she graduated high school to live in a dorm but moved back home in the summer. The youngest lived at home for two years after graduating high school.

As is the case with most teenagers, the older my kids got the more they prepared me for an empty nest by hiding in their rooms and staying at friends’ houses. I started getting used to the quiet and them not being around.

I knew I would miss my youngest when she moved out. What I hadn’t considered was that I would also miss her pets. Over half of our family pets were hers, so when she left, I not only lost her, but I also lost a cat, lizard, snake, fish, and snail as well. The cat and I had spent a lot of time together late at night when everyone else was asleep.

On the plus side, like many couples my husband and I have ‘found’ each other again without kids around all the time. We spend more time together, we talk more. We focused on ourselves, and our relationship is better. At first it felt weird, and almost a little awkward. What did we have to talk about that wasn’t child-related? What would happen when there were no kids around to act as a buffer between us? Turns out it’s been great and has reminded me why we ended up together in the first place. 

I used to say I should have been born 100 years ago so I could have had 10 children. Now, thinking about having more than three just makes me tired and I’m really glad there aren’t seven more of them around. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, but three was enough.

My kids know this will always be their home, to just visit for a while or to move back to if times are tough. One has taken us up on that offer in the past and may again. She’s discovered even working full time it’s expensive and hard to live on your own.

So, do I actually have an empty nest syndrome? Not really, no. Family is always family, even when they don’t all live under the same roof anymore.